The Day I Became a Mom

I found out I was pregnant with J in May of 2020 — right in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. Being pregnant for the first time was already scary enough, but being pregnant during a global crisis? I was a basket case.

Surprisingly, my pregnancy itself was pretty smooth. I wasn’t very sick and didn’t have many physical complications. The biggest issue we ran into was lack of movement. Because I had an anterior placenta (something I didn’t even know existed before pregnancy), I barely felt him — and as a first-time mom, I had no idea what was normal. I ended up in OB triage more than once just to make sure my baby was okay. Thankfully, he was perfect every single time.

February 2021: Baby Month

I was due on February 3rd, and let me just say… this boy had no desire to leave his cozy little home. Meanwhile I was 100% over it. I just wanted to meet my son — and also breathe again.

On February 4th, I was at work, exhausted and huge at 40 weeks and 1 day. I wasn’t feeling as much movement that morning, and even though everyone kept saying, “He’s just out of room,” that never sat right with me. I’ve always trusted my gut, and that day was no different.

I called my doctor, and because I was past my due date, she wanted me checked out. I told my manager I needed to head to the hospital and would keep her updated. Little did I know I was never coming back to work that day.

My husband was working third shift at the time (0/10 do NOT recommend), and he had just gotten home to sleep. I told him not to come with me — I had been through this before and figured it’d be a quick check.

But this was the moment J decided to flip the script.

“We’re Just Going to Go Ahead and Induce You.”

I got hooked up to the monitors like usual and started updating my manager about my plan to come back later. And then the triage doctor walked in.

She said she had spoken with my doctor, and they had decided:

It was time to induce me.

WHAAAT?! I stared at her like she had ten heads.

So much for lunch and going back to work.

Oddly enough, my first call wasn’t to my husband — it was to my mom. After crying to her that it was baby time, I called my husband, who had only slept for maybe 20 minutes. He jumped up, FaceTimed me while he finished packing, and tried to remember all the last-minute things we needed. Chaos.

He made it to the hospital quickly (we live close), and induction officially began.

The Induction From Hell

I’ll spare you the long medical details, but here’s the short version:

• We started with the cervical softening pill.

• It didn’t do much.

• They decided to insert a Foley balloon.

If you’ve ever had a Foley balloon, you know:

It’s the WORST.

Two tries and a shot of morphine later, it was finally in. I had back contractions for four hours straight and wasn’t allowed to get an epidural until the Foley was out. Zero out of ten. Do not recommend.

Around 10 PM, the Foley finally did its job and came out. They started Pitocin, but my boy was not having it. His heart rate dipped with every contraction — nothing dangerous yet, but enough to raise eyebrows.

Calling It

By 3 AM, his heart rate had dropped again, and I hadn’t dilated any further in five hours. We all looked at each other and knew:

It was time to call it before things got risky.

C-section.

We thought we’d have time. It was 3 AM.

Nope — my doctor would be there in 45 minutes.

It was go time.

The Moment Everything Changed

At 4:26 AM on a freezing February morning, I heard my son cry for the very first time. And in that instant, I knew:

I would do anything and everything for this tiny human.

They placed him in my arms, and I just stared.

This perfect, tiny boy.

Our boy. 💙

If I could go back to that morning in the OR, I would whisper to my brand new, terrified mom-self: ‘You’re going to notice things. You’re going to feel things. And you’re not imagining them. Trust your gut’

I didn’t know it then, but J’s first year would bring a lot of questions — and very few answers. Just a mama with a gut feeling, watching her baby grow in a way that didn’t always match what everyone else described.

That’s a story for the next post, and honestly, it’s one I wish someone else had been brave enough to share when I was in it.