5 Ways to Stay Calm When the Meltdowns Feel Never-Ending
When your child is melting down, your instinct is to help them(honestly, sometimes they probably don’t even want our help) — but sometimes, the hardest part is managing your own emotions in the storm. Staying calm doesn’t always come naturally(to say the least!!!) , but it’s something we can practice. And I’ll be honest — these are things I’m still working on myself, every single day. That’s another big part of why I started this blog. I’m learning along with everyone else, and having an outlet to share and connect with other parents, going through the same thing - is all I want.
We are in this together.
Breathe Before You React
I am a fairly reactive person (it’s a work in progress, just ask my therapist - LoL) - and when emotions are high, it’s easy to get pulled into the chaos. Taking even one deep breath — slow and intentional — helps me pause before responding. It’s actually pretty impressive what that single breath can do. That single moment of space can shift the entire direction of what happens next. Some days I remember to do it, and other days I completely forget and I just react — but I’m learning that trying again still counts.
Lower Your Voice, Even When You Want to Raise It
Both J and R can definitely push me to my limit and it’s an instinct to match the volume, but I am trying to learn that in order for my children to come down, I need to come down. Someone just recently told me it’s like a thermometer - the temperature won’t change if we are matching each other. I am the first to admit it’s easier said than done. I don’t always get it right, but I can feel the difference when I do.
Remind Yourself: This Isn’t Personal
A meltdown isn’t a reflection of your parenting or their love for you. It’s a sign that your child is overwhelmed and can’t regulate yet. It took me a LONG time to understand that meltdowns aren’t him being “bad” - I’m getting better but there’s some days when I really struggle with that. He’s not giving me a hard time, he’s having a hard time. Big difference.
Tag Out When You Can
If another adult is around, take a short break — step outside, wash your hands, breathe in fresh air. Even two minutes away can reset your body. And if you’re solo (which is often the case), take that reset moment as soon as the storm passes. You deserve it. I’m still learning to give myself permission to take that space — because we need it just as much as our kids do. I notice a big difference when I take a break vs. when I don’t take a break when I am overstimulated.
Let Go of Perfection (This one is huge for me)
Not every meltdown ends smoothly, and not every day will feel like a win. Some days you’ll cry, too — and that’s okay. What matters most is that you’re trying, learning, and showing up with love. I am learning to remind myself often: calm doesn’t mean never losing it. It means coming back, apologizing, and trying again. It shows our kids that parents make mistakes too.
If it feels like the meltdowns never end, know this — you’re not alone. I’m still figuring it out too, and that’s okay. We’re learning alongside our kids, one moment at a time. These storms won’t last forever, and neither will the feeling that you’re failing. You’re doing beautifully, even on the days that don’t feel like it.
